It's Time for Rehab

I almost lost myself. But I think I caught myself before it was too late.

What is my addiction you ask? Volunteering. With four kids in four schools playing on four different teams, playing four different instruments, I've found my breaking point.
Initially I'm driven by the desire to belong, get the best for my children, get things done efficiently.

Everything starts easily leading to my strong suit of planning and organization. People are excited by my bullet sheets and projections. But it's a different story as the calendar fills up with tasks. And it usually corresponds with the days getting shorter, holidays and my tired kids demanding more and more of my energy to get them through the day.

So I've put the brakes on. I've quit what I can and taken a leave of absence from those I can't. That leaves me with only hockey to convene until March, PTW fundraising chair until June and TRW treasurer for 2008. I feel so much better not having to leave the house again after supper. I actually played Canasta with my daughter last night.

Like all addicts, I know this is not the end. I'll have to watch my step every day. I'm just itching to organize an event for the dog owners in the neighbourhood.

I might need a 12 step problem to stop me.

Juan Valdez and I, Together Again

Okay I tried. Though I didn't go the glamorous route and check into Promises Rehab Center I did try very very hard to give up coffee.

I had read that coffee plays havoc with hormones. And in the past year my life has been ruled by the roller coaster of peri-menopause. Every morning I would get up wondering what kind of symptom would rule my day. Would I be the cheerful tearful. Would the hot flashes have me stripping down to my underwear. Or would I be so exhausted, just adding two plus two would require a post-game nap.

I also suspected that the two cappuccino's I drank a day had something to do with the twenty something pounds I could not remove.

So I gave it up. For two whole months. I substituted green tea, African Red Tea, iced water...and for awhile it seemed to work.

But then the kids went back to school. Then my business financial year-end hit. Then my hard drive crashed. Then the hormones returned big time. It's been two weeks of nasty headaches, aching joints, cramps, and enough hot flashes to cause a supernova.

Only a cup of coffee would make me feel better. I nice dark espresso, nice frothy milk on top, with a sprinkling of cinnamon and sugar. [sigh] Small pleasures.

A Mother's Worst Nightmare

Forgive me, it's been 10 days since my last post. But I have a really good excuse.

Last week my family went out for supper. My eldest son left early. He had arrived by motor scooter and since he only has a M1 license, he has to be off the roads by 30 minutes past sunset. My husband and remaining family lingered a while longer before I left with most of the crowd in my van while my husband rode his motorcycle home.

As we turned off Yonge St onto Sheppard up ahead we saw three police cars and one ambulance with traffic being diverted. I don't know why, but I immediately knew my son was involved.

As I made the turn with the rest of the traffic my mother confirmed my worst fear. My red motor scooter, the one my son had been riding was lying on it's side in the middle of the road.

I then went through the longest five minutes of my life. Trying not to panic with my younger kids in the back seat, while focusing on get back to the accident site ASAP. I hoped I was wrong--perhaps it was another red bike--but knowing deep down I wasn't. I know the accident statistics for motorcycles and I have never prayed so fast.

When finally made it around the corner, I saw a million shards of broken motor scooter scattered on the street in a 25 metre radius. And no sign of my son.

I flew from the car my heart in my throat. A police officer held me back and told me I had to move my car "You'll cause another accident Mam."

Suddenly from the crowd my son, my 6'3" 250 lb baby walked casually over to me. I ran into his arms, too big for me to hold him, and cried. He was alive and despite a couple of scratches on his leg, perfectly okay.

My husband arrived a couple of minutes later. I'd expected a similar reaction from him but he was oddly calm. I later found out that my son had called him right after the accident so he had arrived knowing our son was okay.

How did it happen? My son was at the back of a train of three cars. My son turned his head to check the left lane and move out when the first car, a taxi, did a hard stop to pick up a fare forcing both of the cars following to do the same. By the time my son reacted it was too late to stop and he crashed into the car in front of him.

Thank God there was no car in the left lane. Thank God his helmet worked. Thank God the people in the other cars stopped to help him.

And thank God I still have my son.

Meanwhile back at the Circus

Monday Evening: School #4 PTA meeting

Tuesday Evening: DS#1 works, Music lessons DS#2

Wednesday Evening: Newspaper route, Curriculum Night School #4, Book Circle Launch

Thursday Evening: Music Lesson DS#4, Music Lesson DS#5, Curriculum Night School #3, Fencing Lessons DD#1 and DS #4, Puppy Class with DS#3, Curriculum night School #1

Friday Evening: Newspaper route, DS #1 works

Thanks god Saturday hockey hasn't started yet.

Pretty Tired When you Can't Add to Nine

I just realised I forgot one film in yesterday's ranking.

Romulus, My Brother. An Australian film with Eric Bana based on a famous Aussie writer's life. I had hoped to hear Eric's Aussie accent but he played an Romanian. LOL. Bonus was Marton Csokas. An excellent drama but by the end I felt a couple of notes too often. Got to meet see Richard Roxburg in the Q & A afterwards. Which was a relief since there was a big question left dangling at the end. If you do, Susan is left in a foster home despite Hora trying to adopt her. Rai finds her later in life and they become close.

I'd rank it after Normal.

Five Days, Nine Movies…hopefully eight hours of sleep.

It's Friday night. I've done nine films in five days and I'm ready for a good night's sleep. How in the world does anyone do 45 films in 9 days.

I must say I enjoyed the whole experience. I loved the Q & A with the directors. (A couple of actors made it out too). I liked talking to perfect strangers about what they had seen.

Here's my ranking of the films I saw.

1-Across the Universe. I would pay to see this one again. I find myself breaking out in song all day long.

2-The Jane Austen Book Club. Grab all your girlfriends and have a night out. There's something in this for everyone.

3-Chrysalis. A French Sci-Fi. You might only be able to get this one on zip.ca. But worth the rental.

4-Normal. A great Canadian film. All about loss. Very sad great acting. And Kevin Zegers.

5-Honeydrippers. Slow but amazing acting.

6-Buddha Collapsing in Shame. I great film. Subtle. The children are adorable.

7-Silk. Sorry….Lost in Translation. There's almost zero tension in two hours. Ms. Knightly does nothing but look great even when she was dying. Michael Pitt is dull as dishwater. Alfred Molina is the one bright note.

8-Christopher Columbus. Awful. Don't even think of seeing this one. It took 70 minutes what could be said in 10. I slept through half.

Glad it's over but I'm going back next year.

Well, I'm here.

I just did my first TTIF film , The Jane Austen Book Club and I'm rolling on a high.

Getting here was fun. The dog and I walked at 6:3O am just so I could get here in time. I found out that you needed to be at films 30 minute s ahead of time or they resell your tickets. That didn't leave me much time to get from Sheppard to Queen. Luckily 9:00 am showings are only popular with the blue rinse crowd and there was plenty of space. Mind you I took the stairs instead of the escalator and my heart is pumping.

Just enough time for a sandwich before my next one.

TTIF Virgin No More

For years I've wanted to do the Toronto Film Festival but have never managed to find the time. It falls right at back-to-school which has to be the worst time for a mother. If the kids go off track in September they never get back on track.
But this year, after listening to fellow script writers talk all year about all the great films you can catch before the public release I decided to risk it and get the daytime pass.
Then I told everyone so I couldn't back out.
It looked so simple. Then I found out that the box office is downtown. Limited hours. No parking. On line they only took VISA and mine has a tiny line of credit (purposefully to protect myself from internet fraud) which I had maxed out for kids’ camp etc. And honestly, by the first week of August I was maxed out from dealing with the kids.
When I finally got my act together in the last week of summer the day-time passes were all sold out.
I was soooooo angry with myself.
Determined to recover, on Sept 5th I got online again and after fritzing away two hours figuring how the TTIF sit worked, paid full price to see 8 films.
I'm now standing in line with a bazillion other people to get them. The TTIF computers are down but there is a camaraderie amongst the lineup that we are part of something special. And then I realize that this is half the fun.
This is going to be great.

Back in the Saddle Again

Today is my first day on my shiny new bicycle.

Three weeks ago my bicycle was stolen out of my back yard. But it took a couple of days for the thief to actually register. It had been a post Midnight Madness, post new dog kind of week...one where logic, emotion and action didn't exactly have paths of intersection...so I wasn't positive I hadn't left it somewhere and had just forgotten.

And then I wasn't exactly upset about it either. I hated that bike.

Years ago I had a bike I really liked. But it was an older off road style and it bugged my husband it was so clunky. So for our anniversary that year he bought me a new sleek one. But in August he had had only the dregs of the season to choose from. For a start, the one he chose only had a male seat. The gears were noisy no matter how much I adjusted them. And none of my accessories fit. But honestly it was the dull black and grey paint that bothered me the most.

So now I have a beautiful two-tone blue bicycle. The gears are as smooth as butter. It can fit my mirror, rack and bottle holder. And I'm back in the saddle again.

19 more days....

...till the kids head back to school. Technically it's 18 days and 23 hours and 15 minutes but I'm too spent to count the seconds.

My summers start off with the best intentions. We were going to get out and explore the city. Get really physical. Stay away from the from the TV. Typical of every year.

So now it's the third week of August and wonder what stops me. Well first the kids want to sleep. There is only so much force you can apply to a 250lb 6'3" teenager. The attitude flaming off my hormonal daughter is even worse. Then to keep them occupied I find I'm running one here to friends, having another one's friends over.

Then I do have work to do. Both at home and at my business so I always feel like I'm playing catch up. There's additional work in cleaning up after four kids. No one is on the same eating schedule so family suppers are on hold until September.

My bike was stolen a couple of weeks ago so I've become dependent on my car again.

So now the challenge is to get some quality time into the last two weeks without killing my kids.

Ode to Algonquin

 

I said goodbye to my true love,

Algonquin bound this morn.

He seemed to have packed all the essentials,

including my own first born.

 

He said goodbye in the dawn light,

Off to paddle and grunt in the rain.

To burp, sit and fart at his leisure,

And to show all the bears he's got game.

 

Oh I shall miss my truelove,

And his socks upon the floor.

But at heart I'm a true opportunist,

Bring the coolers, the party's at four.

The Puppy has Arrived

For sixteen years of parenthood I've resisted dog ownership. I knew that no matter what promises my children made, I would be the one looking after it. So on top of all my regular and seasonal jobs and responsibilities I'd have to add another.

My husband and I did make compromises. We tried fish (a ton of work), birds (kids were allergic to the feathers), hamsters (they only live so long), a rabbit (a wonderful pet) and a snake (not cheap). But last December our third child asked us out for coffee on a Sunday morning.

He wanted a dog. He laid out his plan carefully. What he was prepared to do, how he would care for the dog, training schedule etc. Actually pretty impressive for an 11 year old.

And of course my husband and I took the bait. Between the love for our son and our pride in his presentation how could we say no? We did have a number of conditions, most importantly was his allergies. It would have to be a non-shedding breed…and one that we could afford. The dog would only be allowed in certain areas of our home. And he would have to take a couple of dogs for test-drives to show us how serious he was.

By the end of January we (my son and I) had a breed, Golden Doodle but it took us until June to convince my husband to put the money down. Our puppy was born June 16^th and Aug 14 was the arranged pick-up day.

Last week we went for a peek at our dog (a female) when much to our shock and excitement we were informed she was okay to go home. It seems her mother weaned the litter early and puppies had had their shots already since the males were leaving early. So I was alone with four excited kids to make the decision to bring her home. I needed to find a bank and get the money. I needed a box to bring her home in, I needed to call my husband and get the house ready…all the while wondering if she was too young to come home.

I'll tell you it was like an early unplanned labour. We had nothing ready. I spent the next two days in a daze of puppy proofing the house and toilet training.

She is one beautiful dog. Great temperament, fun, happy. And most of all she appears to love us as much as we love her.

10 things I hated about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

SPOILER ALERT:

1-Could Hermione cry anymore if she tried? I think as the main female character she could have been less over the top. If she wasn’t crying she was arguing.
2-What about Luna Lovegood? J.K. Rowlings created one funny, quirky character and never used her potential.
3-The 200 plus pages in the middle where nothing happens? I thought that was what Editors are for. I guess they’ll print anything when your sales are out of control.
4-What’s so great about Dumbledore? He never worked as a mentor for me. He was too aloof. Nor did he stand out in greatness from the other adults like Mr. Weasley (who I loved).
5-Fleur was flighty? It’s the feminist coming out in me again but I do recall at one point she excelled enough in magic to be chosen to compete for the Goblet of Fire. Why does she come across as an angry domestic Paris Hilton?
6-Anyone else notice that the invisibility cloak got bigger? Remember back in the Philosopher’s Stone how the cloak just grazed over the floor. So if it barely fit one 11 year old. How does it completely cover two 17 year olds...sometimes three?
7-Where’s the big bad magic? How did three high school students with six years of negligible learning about the Dark Arts avoid detection from the greatest evil wizard of all time. He-who-shall-not-be-named loses some fear factor points.
8-If you set-up something, pay it off. Sorry, a big pet peeve of mine. Rowlings set-up all sorts of things and didn’t use them: a blind dragon heading straight for Hagrid, Aunt Petunia and family, the angry centaurs in the forest, Quidditch, the feet showing under the invisibility cloak, the search for Snargles, Etc etc etc.
9-Dobbie shows up just to die. This reminds me of a similar scene in Pirates of the Caribbean Part 3 where the commodore shows up to free the protagonist only to die before the scene is over. It’s a cheat. Characters have to provide more than just an easy escape. Better to have sent an angry Kreacher with conflicting loyalties.

And my top 10...We didn’t go anywhere unexpected? Okay, this might have been difficult with bazillion readers pressuring Rowlings for the final instalment but the ending is what will prevent Harry Potter’s elevation into the greatest books of all time. The ending was predictable and expository. No awe. No special twists. And Voldermort was ultimately a blank threat, a character of no dimension; his outwitting by Harry was no surprise for anyone.

Red Virtue---[blushing]

This is the name of my 7 day 15 page script for the NYC Midnight Madness.

Don't ask where it came from. It was 11:54 pm and I had 5 minutes to submit.

Here's the link if anyone wants to read it.

http://www.thisisnotawebsite.ca/4-redvirtue.pdf

Cheers

Karen

This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots.

I tried to post earlier this week and this is the message I got.


"Blogger's spam-prevention robots have detected that your blog has characteristics of a spam blog. (What's a spam blog?) Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.
We received your unlock request on July 25, 2007. On behalf of the robots, we apologize for locking your non-spam blog. Please be patient while we take a look at your blog and verify that it is not spam. "

Dumb robots...at least I'm back. And my brain cells are beginning to rub together again.

Fried Green Tomates

Fried Green Tomatoes

That’s what my brains are. Furious writing, making the MYCMM deadline with only seconds to spare can do that it seems. Four days after I’m still having difficulty putting 2 + 2 together.

I didn’t do myself any service by taking until Wednesday to start my actual writing. My BIL and SIL were arriving with families on Friday night. So there was a house to clean and groceries to buy. With four kids in the house, that’s a two steps forward and one back type of thing.

My writing took place between midnight and 2:00am. By Saturday I had a rough first draft down and a day to rewrite. I decided whatever I completed by 11:00 pm would have to do. I would take thirty minutes to correct typo's then email the script by 11:30 which gave me 29 minutes to spare for the 11:59 pm deadline.

Talk about your Midnight Madness.



My script was finished at 11:02. I put my timer on for 30 minutes for the edit.


At 11:31 all hell broke lose. Kids screaming and crying. My teenager begging me for the copy of Harry Potter. Fighting over beds and toys. Did I mention I had 9 extra people in the house?



AT 11:45 I locked myself in my office and tried to focus. I still had to make my Title page. I had a crappy logline but no time left to improve it. At 11:51 I tried to save it as a .PDF. My scriptwriting software has an odd way of doing this. It's not in the SAVE section but in the PRINT section but I couldn't remember the exact steps...and the directions were saved on my other computer which I had just turned off. Shit.



There was allot more swearing and cursing, finding the email with all the directions, saving, renaming files, emailing, while literally juggling two laptops in my 3” by 3” space know as my office, before I finally sent the email.

Google time… 12:00am Sunday, July 22nd. 60 seconds late!!!

But there’s a happy ending to this story. After 48 hours of anxious pacing I received my confirmation email to say my entry was accepted.


Except for the last 20 minutes, it was a rewarding experience. I think just writing FADE OUT: was worth the money. It's been a long time since I forced myself to finish anything.



But if I do this next year...I'm going into hiding.

Waiting for Midnight Madness

I entered a scriptwriting contest. The NYC Midnight Madness Scriptwriting Challenge...aka How to Burn Your Brain Out in One Week.

I have one week to write a 15-page script based on an assigned genre and set-up. I've never done a writing blitz before since my lifestyle of kids, home and business doesn't permit it. But I thought with the kids out of school perhaps I could attempt one. I can seriously only write for a couple of hours at a time anyway.

So in about two hours I'll know where I stand.

Maybe I should take a before picture. J

Summer Break Week 2

I feel I am writing a survivor log.

It's week two of summer break and already I feel the strain. The kids have been out of school all of 10 days and already I feel like I'm losing my sanity.

Since no one wanted to go to camp this year, I've instigated a couple of rules.

First-Everyone gets out of bed by 9:30 am and breakfast is closed by 10:00. This is my attempt to keep everyone on the same feeding schedule. Making meals is not my favourite task so when I make the effort I want everyone hungry. Hopefully getting teenagers out of bed at this hour will also avoid the middle of the night prowl. The downside is I lose a third of my energy stores in enforcing this rule.

Second-No TV or video games before 5:00. If the kids are determined to be at home, it's not going to be to vegetate in front of the TV. And the minute someone says they are bored, I will put them in camp. After one week no one's complaining. Note: they found their GAME Boys so I needed to add them to the rule.

So wrangling the younger boys, dealing with my hormonal teenagers, summer school, jobs, rugby practice etc etc. Etc leaves zero time for blogging.

Happy Father`s Day

Today we celebrate fathers. In this day of ex-husbands and long-distance dad, ex-dads and long-distance husbands, I am truly grateful for my amazing in-house husband and my around-the-corner father both of whom I love dearly.

My father is away at a Rotary International Convention so I phone call will have to do for him.

My husband gets to make pancakes for us all. It`s his regular Sunday thing and gives him joy to see all his family at breakfast. I was going to make him a cappuccino but he used all the milk for the pancake batter...cafe Americano it had to be.

This afternoon we will hit Montana`s and see Ocean`s Thirteen. His choice. Gifts to follow.

I hope we make him feel as appreciated as he is.

 

Warning! Teenagers make you old.

Way back when my first child was born, I was involved in a business group of people of similar circumstance. Every meeting would begin with 15-30 minutes of chatter about diaper changes, sleep times and teething issues. The oldest member of the group, the one whose babies had grown up, would sit quietly, a pitying look in his eyes. Every so often we would get "You have no idea how easy you have it now?"

We would all laugh. What could possible be worse than babies not sleeping through the night, a fever and mysterious rashes.

Well, now I have teenagers...two going on three (and I've told my youngest he is never to grow up)...I understand exactly what he what trying to say. Teenagers make you scream laugh and cry at the same time.

It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't remember my own teens so well. I wasn't exactly a wild child but there are still enough stories about that I would rather my parents not hear. Explanations I fudged a bit. Times I was out with people other than whom I said I was. Sleepovers that didn't involve sleep. But trust me, in the world of teenagers I did not stand out. And the few times my parents caught me in the grey zone, they had bigger problems to deal with.

It's that point of view that keeps throwing things off. Relating and identifying with your teenagers can only lead to sad 'Paris Hilton' situations. I am the parent now. I have to be the responsible one. I have to deal out rules and regulations...and enforce them. And when they are forgotten or broken, I am the one responsible for dishing out the consequences.

Instead of diaper changes I make sure they know how to use condoms.

Instead of worrying about them sleeping through the night, I wonder if they are in bed and what strategy to use to get them up before noon.

Instead of the pain of the first tooth, I pay for orthodontists to make them perfect and pray when they get home from rugby they still have a full set.

Exhausting work. My face has become wrinkled overnight. And I won't say how much weight I've gained.

Thank-god it will be over in 10 years. Just in time to be a grandmother.